the other day i chatted with the fat man.

i think the real santa claus has been working part time at the university mall.

i know it because he’s got a real beard. he doesn’t wear the traditional suit, but mixes it up some with jolly suspenders and seasonal sweaters that look like they were purchased from ll bean circa 1995. (i would know what sweaters were from that year because i am pretty sure we have some old catalogs from  about then sitting in the drawer in the end table at my house in boise… mom, go check) 
he had the jolliest laugh. how do i know this? i witnessed it firsthand afte he asked me what i wanted for christmas last weekend…. to which i replied without a second thought,
“santa, i just want the metabolism of a fourteen year old boy… do you think you can handle that?”
(insert jolly laugh here)
he said he would see what he could do. i’m counting on you, mr. kringle.
in other news, i did this tonight.
evidently i am eligible to start a 401k retirement plan through my job since i’ve been there now over a year, so tonight was dedicated to making heads or tails of retirement planning….don’t worry that the minimum age requirement to do so is 20.5 years of age and i don’t even have a career yet. future husband, you’re a lucky one. i’ve got our my life plan after 59 all figured out. between now and then is kind of hazy, but ya know, from the looks of things i’ll be a millionaire just from working a reception job (sarcasm). investing in the future starts NOW.

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