the beginning of january


to me, it always feels a bit…. well, like it lasts foreeeeeeeever, but here we are at the smack dab middle of the month, and by the end of the semester i know i’ll look back and do the whole “OMG WHERE DID THE SEMESTER GO??!” bit. time is a funny thing. the days are long, the weeks are short, and i never have enough time to fix my chipped nails. 

what am i even trying to say in this post? i am not sure. besides the fact that i just wanted to write somewhere that i am determined to make this semester my best yet at school. i’m feeling tenacious about getting things done, and doing them right. the light is coming into view at the end of the BYU tunnel, and i am sprinting to the finish. thinking about the future is both exhilarating and frightening, but i’m doing my best.

my life is in a good spot, and i am overall pleased with where i am. moving to a new place in provo where i didn’t know a soul was kind of a leap of faith, but spain taught me that doing so can be worthwhile (and which so far has definitely proved to be). coming back this semester has been a fresh start as i have been able to move away from most everything and everyone from past semesters.

however, i won’t lie, the first few days back were a little bit anxiety inducing. you see, i’ve come to terms with the fact that i don’t thrive in the byu atmosphere. i’ve spent a lot of time in the past feeling a little like a misfit through the erratic  dating, scholastic overachieving, child bride-ing culture. leaving for a season was a great break from everything, so  it was all a little overwhelming to return to a place that has caused me some grief in the past…. however, i think admitting all of this to myself has been cause for some good re-evaluation of priorities and goal setting. addressing my social, mental, spiritual and academic weaknesses has left some room for improvement, and this year i plan on working on a lot of things. 

so here is to perpetual improvement in the new year! and graduating in december 2013! 

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