we went to sundance to see the “films”


i’m not very good at movies. ask anyone.  i get bored and antsy after about 45 minutes, and don’t even think about putting in anything with “bourne” or “bat” in the title, becuase i will most definitely leave the room or fall asleep on the spot. sigh. we all have our cross to bear, no? also, i would rather die than call a movie a “film”.

did you ever watch zoom as a kid? yes? you know that segment where they’d talk about fannie doolie and how she didn’t like eggs but she liked chickens, and she didn’t like shopping but she loved to go to the mall? yeah, i still don’t get it, but i totally pulled a fannie doolie with my little excursion on monday. it went something like this. “alyssa ball doesn’t like movies, but SHE’S ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL!”

and this year, i got my chance. my friend hailey and i went up to park city on monday afternoon to escape the inversion and single degree temperatures and brush elbows with celebrities and use our pretentious voices.  it worked magically. you see, we didn’t have tickets to see any “films” becuase, well, i have a theory that film people hate your everyday joe moviegoers, so they make the ticketing process nearly impossible. i’m talking waiting HOURS for tickets just to only have a slight chance of getting into the movie. it’s sort of ridiculous.  don’t feel too badly for us, though! i felt like i was actually living in a movie the whole night with the things we got to experience…


like this pho. don’t let the picture lead you astray…. this ish was pretty gross. don’t go to taste of saigon on main… because if this is what saigon tastes like, well, i don’t want to go there. after trying to find parking for about a half hour without dishing out FOURTY dollars for parking (yep. celebs i tell ya what) we decided to settled at the first place that struck our fancy. vietnamese food it was… but tasteless. cue sad trombone! however, the neighboring film geeks, producers, and directors eating around us made up for the gross food. their conversations were peppered with talk of short films about goats, schoolchildren committing suicIde in the middle of computer lab, “phenomenal” films about zombies they were directing, and having to deal with their wives after they’d been on the road for a few weeks and having to take care of kids. THE HORROR.


after eating we tried our best to find some good swag at the free booths and exhibitions around main street. OH, and to find celebrities, too. unfortunately all we landed were a few truffles and a lot of watery hot chocolate. we walked down the streets with our eyes  peeled for faces we’d recognize, but sadly we didn’t know anybody and had to resort to simply making up life stories for all the low flying, meticulously dressed people masquerading around in their oversized sunglasses. image

until we got onto the bus. oh, the bus! it reminded me of europe, but then not at all. we were squished, and it took f o r e v e r. i spent some time gawking at people for awhile, my eyes settling on the guy below. you see, he looked like my sister’s boyfriend.  one of my favorite past times is to find his dopplegangers in various cities and then tell my sister i saw a. gay fred, b. asian fred, c. shuttle driver fred, and my newest aquisition, d. film festival fred. i turned to hailey to point out the resemblance and to explain the story. she took one look, and without a moment of hesitation said to me, “alyssa. that is DEMETRI MARTIN.” you see, d martin is a comedian, and i’d heard of him, but never SEEN him, so yeah, that is where the problem lay. it didn’t matter, though. i unabashedly took fan girl photos and posted them all on instagram. celebrity sighting, CHECK. here’s some reference if you don’t know any demetri.


we wandered around some art exhibits, stood out like sore thumbs among the film folk and camera crews, and then capped the night off with another jaunt across main street and a free veggie burger from morning star.


and another hot chocolate.

and a resolve to do this same thing EVERY year. (and with tickets purchased in advance this time…)

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